College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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