dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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