She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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