can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Randomize
