So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
