She said her name was "party"
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
