I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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