I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
