and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
