just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
