I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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