Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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