You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
My ATM looks so different sober.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I think your dad took our porno
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
