no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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