my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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