I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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