after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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