Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he puts the penis in happiness.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
