; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
