I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
