dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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