R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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