When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize