So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Randomize
