yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
