Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
