Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
