We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
