Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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