You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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