Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize