Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We need to get me chipped asap
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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