i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize