It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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