I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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