you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
