Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He did a backflip because drugs
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
