I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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