white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
