i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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