school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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