He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
