i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
