so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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