I just made out with a guy for $7.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
