there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
she peed on how many people?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
