I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
