There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Drake has all the answers
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
