So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize