Where did you get a picture of my penis
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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