Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
