That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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