Sry I called you an 8
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
