If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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