Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
