I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
