thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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