There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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