I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
