Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
