just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
