sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Alive.
So much puke
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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